Conflicted

My hope was almost buried in snow,
I'd spent every night with every star,
Talking to gods I didn't know.

I laid around and counted memories
Half the night I spent in sighs,
Half in dreams of star-crossed enemies.

As I lay now to unwind, I am in a different bind.
My heart's content, first time in years
It's bursting with joy of dried up tears

My mind is troubled, it's conflicted
My joy was endless, now not so much
Because I'm far too addicted,
And I love something death can touch.